Today's Nantucket

Look Back & Laugh… Pandemic Version of Nantucket Limericks

December 30, 2020 0 comments
Nantucket Limerick

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM NANTUCKET…

For decades the island guide Yesterday’s Island/Today’s Nantucket has challenged readers to add to the original limericks written about Nantucket. The ORIGINAL limericks–not the ones that make us blush–were a back-and-forth contest in 1924. You can read them at https://yesterdaysisland.com/limerick-challenge/ along with more recent additions.

Spring of 2020, as we all stayed home and wondered what would happen next, the staff of Yesterday’s Island/Today’s Nantucket tried to lighten the moods of their readers with a new contest: pandemic versions of the Nantucket limericks.

We’re sharing these here at the very end of 2020, to give our readers something to smile about as we are about to start a new year.

If you’d like to add to these, email your chapter to us at nantucketnews@gmail.com with the subject line of “Nantucket Limerick Challenge.” Remember: limericks should have five lines that follow the rhythm in the example below.

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his TP in a bucket.
When the stores ran out,
He wandered about
Giving squares to all who would tucket.
— written by YI staff to get it started

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who told the apocalypse it could “Suck it!”
So he sheltered at home,
And dared not to roam,
Less he ends up in Hell via hand bucket.
— Michael Alvarez

At home on my self-quarantine
For fear of the Covid-19,
I’ve finished my chores,
And now I’m so bored.
It’s only 11:15!
— Mary Longacre

There once was a man from Nantucket
He grew daffodils in his bucket
When the flowers appeared,
He knew Spring was near,
But this virus pandemic does sucket!
— CJ & Jenni Lanktree

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who loved clams so much he said shuck-it.
When the cupboards were bare,
He had not a care,
Cuz he had his rusty old rake and his bucket.
— Diane Tomas

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who’s scallop knife was so sharp he could shuck it.
When the high tide rolled in,
And his waders wore thin,
He retreated to the pub and said #$&@ *&.
— Bob Lyons

There once was a woman from Surfside
Who was all out of rice for her stir fry.
“I’m afraid to go out
To the store,” she did pout,
She called Faregrounds for delivery curbside.
— C. McConnell

Doug Harris from the UK penned 2 verses…
Like everywhere else, in Nantucket
The virus got loose – ran amok, it
      Refused to rescind
      For those standing downwind,
Oh so many not able to duck it.

But the fellow we know from Nantucket
Has emptied the cash from his bucket
      And filled it with bleach
      Disinfection to teach –
The way, with a virus, to chuck it.

Nantucket’s an island we know
Where plenty of summer folks go.
But during this spring,
We’re all sheltering,
So hope not to see them now, though.
— Mary Longacre

They said “stay at home” in Nantucket,
Yet out to the beaches we truck it.
But I ask your assistance,
in keeping your distance,
There’s just one roll left, I must pluck it!
— Richard Pykosz

So Daffodil Weekend is shot
Figawi, Wine Festival – not
We try and we try
To keep spirits high
At least we can always buy pot!
— Mary Longacre

All the shops of the Grey Lady have closed
At least it’s Spring and no one has froze
But if this doesn’t end fast
And become a thing of the past
Folks will be wiping their butts with a hose.
– Laura Keane with credit to Craig D’Andrea

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who saw covid was on Town docket
He said to his friends
Hope this nightmare ends
And we all end up back with “Our Tucket.”
Jennifer Satterfield

During the time of the plague on Nantucket,
Some from America decided to chuck it.
They sheltered in place
On this clean wind-swept space,
Wearing Nantucket Red masks to duck it
Rod Starbuck Learned
Wichita, KS  (Edward Starbuck’s great-13th grandson)

We’ve summer’ed each year on Nantucket,
Forty years in a row and can’t duck it,
Now we’re barred from the isle,
Caused by virus a while,
To COVID 19 we say “$@%* @&“!
Bruce McBrearty, Osprey, FL

And the mysterious “Portly Bard” wrote 8 limericks for us. He won the contest and donated his winnings to an island cause:
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who toted an alcohol bucket.
So a hand he immersed
Would no longer be cursed
By COVID done in where he stuck it.

‘Twas a story folks loved to retell
So he built and filled buckets to sell
And acquired his wealth
By preserving our health
Doing business as “Alco-Haul Well.”

And that led to hermetically sealed
Sterile wipes to dry hands he had healed,
That he cleverly made
So they’d biodegrade,
Which he knew to so many appealed.

It was anchors aweigh as we say
For his profit on opening day.
When crowds began telling
The world he was selling
“Nan-Tuck-It-and-Chuck-It-Away!”

But it didn’t end there, he was part
of Nantucket’s historic restart
when he proved from a barrel
he could fashion apparel
that would keep us together apart.

Even Paris said “C’est magnifique!”
to the billow of clothing unique
and the profit so bloated
at Nantucket’s now noted
“Social Distance Insistence Boutique”.

To his swimwear, reaction ecstatic
seemed to flow from the liners pneumatic,
a life-saving design
for those braving the brine
with a confidence far more emphatic.

So with marketing sense rather smart– 
by appeal to the beach-going heart  —
with his suits labeled “DareWear,”
that featured safe “AirWare.”
he had sales going off of the chart.